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 . 
[for my mother]
 . 
Liminal
crepuscular
 . 
You take my hand and lead
me from the porch, leavings
of sticky watermelon rind,
half-eaten hotdogs, out into
the yard where the older kids
whoop in the descent
of darkness almost too deep
to see through; at its edge
grownups in folding chairs,
the orange winks of their cigarettes
like lightning bugs.
 . 
Too dark. You feel me hanging back
but here around the corner
real fireflies guide us, cool green,
silent. You catch one
in your hands, Like this . . .
when I was a girl, laughing
in the twilight; you pinch off
its tiny ember and smear
the glowing on your eyelids
so that when you close your eyes
its faint gaze assures
that you still see me.
 . 
And the truly wondrous thing,
besides this moment together while
the luminescence fades
and I am able too to laugh,
is that once you were a girl.
 . 
❦❦❦
 . 
All stories are true. The story’s facts may get a bit smudged & skewed, a bit shuffled & stretched, a bit jiggled & juxtaposed & conflated, but the story’s truth is undiminished. Good stories know their truth. The best stories know your truth. You discover it in their pages. Perhaps it was always in you, smudged & skewed – now you are following its trail into the open.
 . 
A poem has its own particular way of telling its story. Planed down until you can see the grain. That burl is a metaphor for the winter storm when something cracked. The curly maple echoes laughter you can still hear tinkling faint from the past. Storms and laughing are metaphors for what you’re facing this morning when you roll out of bed. The poem rolls you out of bed. It won’t feed you lying down.
 . 
And in a poem the story lives on its own fine edge. It balances the limn between nothing and everything. Wait here, breathing slowly, at the transition between dusk and night. Or between darkness and dawn. The poem’s story may seem at ease but in the silence beside the swift river you can hear the rush, the flow, the movement. The poem taps the shoulder of awareness – look ahead, look back, live right now in all those moments that coalesce to make a life. Your story is unfolding, and don’t you know it’s true?
 . 
 . 
❦❦❦
 . 
Liminal
riparian
 . 
Let’s tube the Brandywine: you
are brilliant, my kids so fractious,
lucky to keep them for an hour
in the same room with Grandmommy
much less engaged.
All the lazy afternoon
watched over by staid sycamores
of summer, the splashing,
the dunking, and through smooth
passages you get them talking
about yesterday’s museum, Howard Pyle
and the Wyeths, art, its stories,
how if we can only imagine
something strongly enough
we may make it so.
 . 
Imagine: all things flow,
the benevolent stream, its clarity
every possibility of color
and everything it collects,
benediction of damp
on our bodies, water and salt,
half-adrift in the dailyness
of life and where
might this meandering take us?
 . 
At the takeout toweling off
you touch my shoulder, point:
a tree swallow’s looping masterwork
has knit together river, forest, sky,
metallic blue . . . brilliant.
 . 
❦❦❦
 . 
A story about Mom: when I was five we lived in a little house on Marion Road in Memphis. Mom had made a special cake for my birthday surprise, German chocolate with thick gooey coconut and pecan frosting. She hid it in the little closet pantry until after supper, but when she brought it out for five candles, she wept. It was covered with ants. Don’t you think my brother and I were able to pick off the little crawlies and eat it anyway? And every year at birthday time we piped up, “Mom, make us another Ant Cake!” It was years before she could laugh.
 . 
Another one: Mom and Dad moved away from the South before I was born, but her friends in Michigan or Ohio or Delaware could still detect the remnants of her North Carolina accent. I believe they always thought her a bit prim. When I was fifty I happened to visit Mom in Wilmington DE around Halloween. She said, “Let’s go trick-or-treating!” I figured we’d just walk down the block and say Hi to the neighbors, but she came out of the bedroom wearing a cape and hunchback, an old wig pulled all the way down over her face, and stark staring eyes painted on her cheeks. A wooly booger. None of the neighbors knew who the hell she was and they flinched visibly when she cackled.
 . 
Last story?: Mom was the czarina of crosswords, and she could finish the entire Jumble in the morning paper while I was still juggling the first word. The last few months of her life, at ninety-six, she would sit on the couch after breakfast and I would bring in the paper, sit down beside her, and hand her a pen. Sometimes, I admit, I had to offer her hints (assuming I myself could figure out the words). But at times she would put pen to paper, hesitate just a moment, and fill in the blocks with faint, spidery letters. Just right, Mom. Just right.
 . 
 . 
❦❦❦
 . 
Liminal
nonagenarian
 . 
Every Sunday after church I knock
at your kitchen door then forge on through
to the living room before you can struggle
from your favorite chair, milky tea
half-finished, The Times crossword
and a few spaces you’ve saved me,
78 down, wings, four letters, and today
I’ve brought my grand-daughter,
 . 
your great-. We’ve taken to calling her
Sister like your brother and all
the cousins called you,
and while she cuddles your old doll
almost ninety itself and explains
to it the universe of her three years
you settle your pad across your lap,
charcoal on your fingers, capture
the purity of her which is the closest
we will ever come to defining love,
the three of us a grand alignment
 . 
of planets in some untrammeled
system, and although the scratch scratch
on paper binds me to this moment
I see you luminescent, intangible,
the halo of fine white hair that limns
your face, your wings, alae,
strong enough to lift us all.
 . 
Bill Griffin
first appeared in Grey Sparrow Journal  –  Issue 32, Summer 2018
 . 
❦❦❦
 . 
 . 
2020-06-11a Doughton Park Tree

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 . 
[with 3 poems by Beth Copeland]
 . 
Fog
 . 
Morning fog erases the mountain and trees.
No, not an erasure but unseen.
 . 
Not an erasure but unseen.
The mountain, the laurel still green.
 . 
Unlike the mountain and laurel still green,
the dearly departed lie beneath white sheets.
 . 
The deer depart beneath white sheets
of fog, stepping into a forgotten dream
 . 
of fog slipping into a forgotten dream
the ghost mountain dreams.
 . 
The ghost mountain dreams.
Crows fly to pines on mascara wings.
 . 
Crows fly to pines on mascara wings,
mourning. Fog erases the mountain, the trees.
 . 
Beth Copeland
from I Ask the Mountain to Heal My Heart, Redhawk Publications, The Catawba Valley Community College Press, Hickory NC; © 2025
 . 
❦ ❦ ❦
 . 
It’s a big web, here in the corner of our screened porch, but I’m not ready yet to broom it down. The spider is a jointed dried kernel in its center; when I blow, she doesn’t twitch. I don’t see an egg pouch or spiderlings. The strands are not an orb but a diffuse tangle, a chaos of delicate angles and tensions — a miniature of filaments revealed by the background microwave radiation that weave the structure of our entire universe. And what are they made of, those filaments? These I can see before me are nanometer reworkings of hemolymph from mosquitoes denied the opportunity to bite me. Most visible when dusted with pollen. A mess. But I and my broom are not ready yet to offend, to say farewell to the tribe of spiders.
 . 
Last week we visited Blue Whales with our grandson, turning eight. The North Carolina Museum of Natural Sciences in Raleigh is hosting this exhibit of the largest creatures that have ever lived on our planet – the mystery of their migrations, language, culture; the vital interconnections between their diet of krill, their massive enriching orange poop, and the entire deep ocean ecology. Linda and I stood in silence before the model of a blue whale brain and a model of our own. The whale’s is twice as large and twice as complex, convoluted with its twisting gyri and deep sulci. Surely such an abundance of neurons and synapses must create thoughts as complex as our own. Or more so. And yet blue whales struggle to survive as a species in a world degraded by human beings. I am thinking of that brain and I am not ready yet to say farewell to the tribe of whales.
 . 
Chapel Hill cartoonist Keith Knight draws a weekly panel titled (th)ink. Today’s is a portrait of and quotation by James Baldwin (1924-1987): “To be a Negro in this country & to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time.” Human being who is relatively conscious, choose your own rage focal point du jour – human beings caged like animals in a Florida concentration camp; children intentionally starved to advance a particular political agenda; boosting fossil fuels burned to appease a few billionaires; an ocean filled with plastic nanoparticles and deafening human vibrations where blue whales may soon be extinct? Some days I feel like I am not ready to go on living. Some days I am more than ready to say goodbye to the tribe of humans. In a few years I will depart as an inhabitant of planet Earth. Some years after that the last memory of my having been an inhabitant will finally depart as well. On that day, will any whales still remain to swim the depths? Will any love between humans remain, or any love for other creatures? I am not ready yet to answer.
 . 
 . 
❦ ❦ ❦
 . 
October Valentine
 . 
A heart-shaped leaf spied in the weeds on my walk
down the hill to the mailbox. I didn’t see a redbud tree
 . 
on the roadside, so it must have lifted on the wind
and dropped – a gift! – near my feet. Is it a message
 . 
from someone I love – my sweet mother in a halo of light,
my father singing the names of trees in his strong baritone?
 . 
Or is it from someone I’ve never seen and may never meet?
 . 
As I hike up the hill, I tuck the leaf in my pocket, rubbing it
with my thumb – as if I could read it – skin to skin – by osmosis.
 . 
Halfway home, I stop to study it. Cerise with splotches of green,
dark spots, a wormhole bored like a bullet wound, a battered
 . 
heart, like yours, like mine, but maybe its scars make it more
beautiful than before. My friends, there’s still so much
 . 
love in this world even when you’re alone.
 . 
Beth Copeland
from I Ask the Mountain to Heal My Heart, Redhawk Publications, The Catawba Valley Community College Press, Hickory NC; © 2025
 . 
❦ ❦ ❦
 . 
Is it strange for me to be toying with despair while reading a book of healing and love like Beth Copeland’s I Ask the Mountain to Heal My Heart? Actually, if you’re not toying with despair you are the strange one. Give grudging thanks, though. Thank the stars and the mysterious hemlocks and the dark fecund earth that in a world full of rage and despair there are poems like Beth Copeland’s. These poems know the feeling of being lost in endless night. These poems have been battered, they have fallen, they have doubted plenty of times whether there is any wholeness or healing available to them, but these poems stand up to testify, My friends, there’s still so much love in this world even when you’re alone.
 . 
Often I tell myself it is ridiculous to imagine that any sort of inner peace is possible. I have my share of personal regrets and ongoing grief, and even though I’m tempted to look around and envy those people who don’t, when I’m really honest I admit that no one escapes whipping. But peace can’t be a wall built around my sadness – walls keep more things in than out. Despair is inevitable. How foolish is it, then, and how strange, to spend a few hours with a book of words arranged in lines on paper and discover the tightness in my throat is easing? The mountain has rested in one place for 480 million; today its peak is less than a third of its height when it was first thrust up in the big crunch. Does it reflect on loss and diminishment, or does it find peace in the weight of its daily being? Am I inflamed and scarred by the revelations of Beth Copeland’s battles and pain, or am I grateful for her gratitude and strengthened by her strength?
 . 
The tribe of human beings seems determined to destroy itself. The tribe of human beings seems determined to link arms and hearts in love. Perhaps discovering a moment of beauty is not a cowardly attempt to escape dire reality – perhaps it is the only thing capable of healing us.
 . 
 . 
Explore REDHAWK Publications, including Beth Copeland’s I Ask the Mountain to Heal My Heart and Shibori Blue: Thirty-Six Views of the Peak HERE.
 . 
Sample poems from Shibori Blue at Verse & Image HERE.
 . 
More information about the North Carolina Museum of Nature Sciences HERE.
Dive into the K Chronicles with Keith Knight HERE.
 . 
 . 
❦ ❦ ❦
 . 
My Daughter Paints a Mountain
 . 
She wasn’t thinking as her brush swept
across canvas in wave-length strokes,
 . 
channeling a crest she’d never seen,
while I was still in the Sandhills
 . 
where there aren’t any hills, just fields
of cotton, soybeans, and cedar stumps
 . 
in swamp water, sleeping on an air mattress
in a small apartment with prints and paintings
propped against walls instead of hung,
newly separated, newly sober, living
 . 
between the husband and home I’d left
and a haven I hadn’t found yet.
 . 
*****
 . 
As I drove up a steep road to see a house
in the Blue Ridge, a large buck leapt
 . 
in front of the car to welcome me,
and I knew I’d found my new home.
 . 
I didn’t know the mountain seen at the top
of the hill was the mountain she’d painted
 . 
months before, and she didn’t know I’d move
to that house with a view of the mountain
 . 
she’d painted as if in a dream or fugue.
How could her mountain – purple, lavender,
 . 
pink, and forest green swirled to a peak
with white streak of snow against a blue sky –
 . 
mirror the one framed in my window?
Was it coincidence or synchronicity
 . 
that the mountain in her mind’s
eye was more map than metaphor?
 . 
It was a message from the universe:
You’re home. Open the door.
 . 
Beth Copeland
from I Ask the Mountain to Heal My Heart, Redhawk Publications, The Catawba Valley Community College Press, Hickory NC; © 2025
 . 
 . 
❦ ❦ ❦
 . 
Doughton Park Tree 2020-11-22
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❦ ❦ ❦
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Albert Mountain Sunrise

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[with 3 poems by Kathy Ackerman]
 . 
Heritage Lost
 . 
Hills are keening,
yellowed voices of serious photos
call me home to “precious memories,
how they linger,
how they ever flood my soul.”
 . 
How in a displaced caravan
we went to lay her down
in shining soil,
flecks of coal on shovels
in the hills of familiar gravestones.
It had to be that church,
that pastor’s family name,
Rock of Ages, Beulah Land.
 . 
How odd to call it home and feel it so
without a waiting bed of down
to follow the wake,
all of us gone north for good,
except for this.
 . 
How we walked between
the railroad and the shallow ditch
collecting tadpoles in a pail
we’d flush in the motel’s aqua bathroom
because I would not understand.
Death, a newborn slippery thing.
 . 
How the stone had to be a heart
to bear the name of Mother,
how the heart had to be a stone
to be left behind
in its rightful place
in the hills near the church
near the home place bought by strangers.
 . 
We packed the memories once again
in bursting overnight bags,
left the motel beds unmade,
because we could
and settled into our procession.
CB radios, Thermoses, Styrofoam,
we headed back up north
to our factories, unions, high schools,
without looking backward.
 . 
Kathy Ackerman
from Coal River Road, Livingston Press, The university of West Alabama; © 2013
 . 
❦ ❦ ❦
 . 
Where is home? Is it a house number, 1074 Marcia Road, a side yard, fence, and oak tree I can still see as clearly as when I was 10? I could walk right through the carport sixty years later and show you exactly where we buried my hamster. Or is home a garage full of cardboard boxes and bric-a-brac from four other homes of parents and grandparents, houses you only spent a few dozens of nights in altogether? Is home the towns those houses occupied? The states?  Whose home is your home? Whose place is yours?
 . 
I was barely four when we moved from Niagara Falls to Memphis. Not until years later was I able to piece together the stories of my parents’ migration, how they drifted together across those red clay counties of piedmont North Carolina, then pinballed via Atlanta to New York before birthing me. All my solid early childhood memories abide in those eight years in Shelby County, Tennessee, that little four-square subdivision on the outskirts of Memphis.
 . 
Then we moved. And moved again. The sixth graders in Delaware mimicked my accent and immediately nicknamed me “Memphis.” It doesn’t take long for a 12-year old to figure out how important it is to fit in. For the next couple decades I can now see that I lived as if the place I was staying would never be the place I stayed.
 . 
Here in the rural South, when you meet someone new question number one is not, “What do you do?” but, “Where are you from?” One longs to fit in; one doesn’t want to whack the conversation with an axe by replying, “New York.” I invented my stock answer right quick: “Both of my parents are from North Carolina.” Subtext: “I want to be from North Carolina. I want you to let me be.”
 . 
I have now lived exactly 70% of my entire lifespan in North Carolina. NC driver’s license, NC property taxes, kids born in NC, grandkids too. Maybe being almost from here is an advantage. Every new state park we visit, every historical factoid, every endemic flower species I learn, every third generation progeny of a friend I greet while out walking – I tally them all securely in my calculus of belonging. Way back when Linda and I arrived in Durham a week after we’d married, a month before I started med school at Duke, we just assumed that in four years we’d be moving back to Ohio to be closer to her huge family. Now it’s been fifty-one years in The Old North State, forty-four of those in rural Elkin in rural Surry County. Lately we’ve started talking about downsizing, moving somewhere we can age in place through to the end of our allotted spans. Linda says, “You know where I’d really like to live?” Oh my God, is Ohio still calling her? Is the place we’ve been staying never to be the place we stay? She looks at me level, no joking here. “Winston-Salem.”
 . 
Well, I guess we are from North Carolina. It’s nice to be home.
 . 
 . 
❦ ❦ ❦
 . 
Cul-de-sac
 . 
From Coal River Road to White Mist Lane
is more than forty years,
several hundred miles
as the crow truly flies, one point to another,
and sometimes back,
no straighter than a crooked river
wrecked by mines.
 . 
Here the landscapers claw in stony earth
to sow some seed
while wings of straw fly it away.
My lawn’s a futile thing
where rocks and trees should be.
 . 
I stoop to gather stubborn stones,
pretend I do it for the grass,
but in their quartz and granite peaks
admittedly ground to bits by time
I find the mountain of my blood
and hear the ancient syllables spilled,
silenced now by cul-de-sac
and swaying Mylar storks,
a neighborhood of strangers
increasing overnight.
 . 
Kathy Ackerman
from Coal River Road, Livingston Press, The university of West Alabama; © 2013
 . 
❦ ❦ ❦
 . 
Linda spots the book on top of my pile, next in queue for reading, and its title speaks right up and makes its demands known. “We need to save this one for Jodi.” Who was born in Ohio but lives in coal country, and whose career has been to tell its stories as naturalist and interpreter in the New River Gorge near Beckley, WV. Indeed, I’ll share it with Jodi, this book I bought from a friend whose poetry I’ve admired for many years, whom I’ve come to know better through the North Carolina Poetry Society Board, and whose more recent book I featured here three years ago. Now I open the book, though, and out spill the connections and intersections. Kathy, just up the road there at Isothermal Community College, I never realized we’ve come from the same place!
 . 
Kathy Ackerman grew up in Ohio (like me, at least from 8th grade on) far from her birthplace and her family’s heritage. In later years she has mainly visited the old home state for funerals, but the landscapes, place names, family memories, and fortunes (or lack thereof) of West Virginia are the palette from which she paints these poems of Coal River Road. This collection is yearning for home, but home is something slippery and out of reach. A bright fleck in a stone might remind her of the mountain in her blood, but returning to stand on the that mountain she discovers a hint of strangeness and regret. Perhaps the yearning itself is home, the uprooted and cast adrift feeling that keeps a person looking for something solid, for something that means.
 . 
I identify with these poems. Kathy uses imagery and memory not just to disclose the past but to define the present. She can only be the person she is because she’s traveled the twisting roadways through old hollers and coves as well as the West Virginia Turnpike straight up to Ohio’s new sown lawns. And finally I-77 South. Although Kathy Ackerman didn’t settle in this state until a full ten years after I did, I can assure you that she is from North Carolina.
 . 
 . 
Coal River Road by Kathy Ackerman is available from Livingston Press. Her more recent book is Repeat After Me from Redhawk Publications (2022).
 . 
 . 
❦ ❦ ❦
 . 
Whitesville, WV
 . 
Because we never had the conversation
I am following a hearse that winds
down Coal River Road toward Whitesville.
 . 
How to say irrational to bury you here
in the only land we own outright,
owned for generations
though none of us can visit your grave
in less than a day.
 . 
These plots foreshadow the ending
no matter the story you wanted to tel.
you never wanted to return, like this or not.
 . 
You’d cringe to see this dingy place,
smelling of rot as if what remains
of the Big Coal River
seeps in each night while the corpses await
their faraway bereaved.
 . 
For once, I’m relieved to by unromantic.
That body is merely a souvenir
a keepsake – you wore it every day.
Symbol. Skin. Form.
 . 
I am relieved to know you’re not really here
though there’s nowhere else for us to go
to pay our respects. It is not respect
that brought you here, but silence,
the failure to make a better plan
because you never learned to say goodbye.
 . 
Kathy Ackerman
from Coal River Road, Livingston Press, The university of West Alabama; © 2013
 . 
❦ ❦ ❦
Doughton Park Tree 2020-09-08b

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