Archive for the ‘family’ Category
Ear Worm #1A
Posted in family, music, tagged Bill Griffin, Dorianne Laux, Duet, Jacar Press, Joseph Millar, NC Poets, poetry, Southern writing on August 16, 2024| 11 Comments »
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[with poems from Duet by Dorianne Laux and Joseph Millar]
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Listening to Paul Simon
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Such a brave generation.
We marched onto the streets
in our T-shirts and jeans, holding
the hand of the stranger next to us
with a trust I can’t summon now,
our voices raised in song.
Our rooms were lit by candlelight,
wax dripping on the table, then
onto the floor, leaving dusty
starbursts we’d pop off
with the edge of a butter knife
when it was time to move.
But before we packed and drove
into the middle of our lives
we watched the leaves outside
the window shift in the wind
and listened to Paul Simon,
his tindery voice, then fell back
into our solitude, leveled our eyes
on the American horizon
that promised us everything
and knew it was never true:
smoke and cinders, insubstantial
as fingerprints on glass.
It isn’t easy to give up hope,
to escape a dream. We shed
our clothes and cut our hair,
our former beauty piled at our feet.
And still the music lived inside us,
whole worlds unmaking us in the dark,
so that sleeping and waking we heard
the train’s distant whistle, steel
trestles shivering across the land
that was still our in our bones and hearts,
its lone headlamp searching the weedy
stockyards, the damp, gray rags of fog.
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Dorianne Laux and Joseph Millar
from Duet, Jacar Press, Durham, NC; © 2016
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Here I am again, six years old this time, sitting cross-legged on the floor beside the pinnacle of 1959 technology. I wind it up, carefully lay the 6-inch plastic disc on the little turntable (it’s bright yellow plastic, I will never forget that), and position the needle at the outer groove. The wind-up box is white and red and has a picture of Mickey Mouse grinning; it looks like Mickey’s arm is what holds the stylus. The needle itself juts from a hollow flat cylinder, sort of like a tuna can with perforations; the little holes are what transmit the sound. No electronics, no electricity involved.
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I push a lever and the disk begins to rotate. The needle finds its groove (at least a decade before finding one’s groove will mean anything to me) and in between all the scratches from a hundred earlier renditions – music! The little record finishes, I lift the needle from where it’s begun making little whump whump sounds with each revolution, I place the needle back at groove one, and it starts all over again.
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And even so my mother remained sane to her dying day.
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As the years passed, Mom and Dad began to let me listen to their records on the Hi-Fi (mono, not stereo; Uncle Carlyle soldered it himself). It never seemed to drive them crazy to hear Peter and the Wolf or The Music Man a dozen times a day, or even Bobby Darin singing Mack the Knife. Hard core. Finally the big day – I was 11, I had saved my birthday money, I had laid awake at night tallying which of their songs were included: I bought my first LP, Introducing . . . The Beatles.
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Introducing . . . is an anomaly in Beatles discography. It was released by Vee-Jay Records because Capitol/EMI had farted around about agreeing to a first USA Beatles album and Vee-Jay scooped them. Apparently it was only on the market for a year or so before the suits prevailed and forced them to cease and desist. Anyhow, I listened to that vinyl disc about a thousand times before I bought Beatles ‘65. In fact, I might just go slap it on the old turntable right now. Scratches and all. Please, please me!
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And that little yellow record? Easter Parade. Sixty-five years later I still find no evidence that there has ever been such a parade, but now the melody has wormed it’s way in again: “In your Easter bonnet, with all the frills upon it . . .” And even so, my mother somehow remained sane.
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Mick Jagger (World Tour, 2008)
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He stands on stage
after spot-lit stage, yowling
with his rubber mouth. If you
turn off the sound he’s
a ruminating bovine,
a baby’s face tasting his first
sour orange or spitting
spooned oatmeal out.
Rugose cheeks and beef
jerky jowls, shrubby hair
waxed, roughed up, arms
slung dome-ward, twisted
branches of a tough tree, knees
stomping high as his sunken chest.
Oddities aside, he’s a hybrid
of stamina and slouch,
tummy pooch, pouches under
his famous invasive rolling eyes.
He flutters like the pages
of a dirty book, doing
the sombrero dance, rocking
the microphone’s
round black foot, one hand
gripping the skinny metal rod,
the other pumping its victory fist
like he’s flushing a chain toilet.
Old as the moon and sleek
as a puma circling the herd.
The vein in this forehead
pops. His hands drop into fists.
he bows like a beggar then rises
like a monarch. Sir Mick,
our bony ruler. Jagger, slumping
off stage shining with sweat.
O please don’t die. Not now,
not ever, not yet.
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Dorianne Laux and Joseph Millar
from Duet, Jacar Press, Durham, NC; © 2016
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Uno Voce – when Sandy Beam rehearsed an a capella selection, he required us to blend our tone with each person singing near us until it was as if we all sang with one voice. Vibrato is anathema; sibilance is sin! Of course, Sandy would have been happiest if we had all been boy sopranos, but at least we could strive for that brilliant transparent evocation of light he desired.
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Light and truth evoked by a single voice – not at all unlike these poems in Duet. They are each about music – Bo Diddley, Lightnin’ Hopkins, Paul Simon, James Taylor, Ladysmith Black Mambazo, Cher. They build a portrait in layers of color, tone, and years, filled with the music that infuses our past and vibrates in our bones to create our present. And they are written by the duet of Dorianne Laux and Joseph Millar, but the tones and melodies blend until we readers hear a single voice.
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Not an ear worm in the bunch.
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Duet is one in the continuation of the Greatest Hits Series, originally conceived by editor Jennifer Bosveld at Pudding House Press in 2000 and acquired by Sammy Greenspan of Kattywampus Press in 2010. Jacar Press was asked to take over the series under the careful eye of series editor David Rigsbee in 2017. More about the book, the Series, and Jacar Press HERE
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Life Sucks
Posted in family, Imagery, Photography, poetry, tagged Bill Griffin, Daybreak, family, imagery, Mark Smith-Soto, nature photography, NC Poets, poetry, Southern writing, Unicorn Press on July 19, 2024| 24 Comments »
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[with 3 poems by Mark Smith-Soto]
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Sunroom Twilight
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Another thunk against the window glass,
another broken wing or neck, as like as not,
another muted spill of feathers on the grass –
I love this space, but it’s been dearly bought.
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Of course, the same might well be said
of the lamb we grilled last night, honoring
its sacrifice with salad and good bread.
The whole-grain loaf, the baby kale, everything
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sundered from daylight for my sake,
floods the mind in unforgiving surge,
sweeps me into the sobering give / take
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that underpins life / death. In the sun’s wake,
birdsong dapples the gold air with its dirge.
Or rather, hymn of wonder; my mistake.
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Mark Smith-Soto
from Daybreak, Unicorn Press, Greensboro, NC; © 2024
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Passenger side floorboard there’s a Mason jar of flowers, black-eyed susan and zinnia, marigold and mint. I cut them from our garden this morning for Mom’s bedside table. On I-77 South just past Jonesville there’s a field of sunflowers blooming, another field near the coverleaf with 421, all looking southeast right now because it is still morning. I’m driving to Winston to visit Mom and Dad in Kate B. Reynold’s Hospice Home. Life surely does suck. Life surely is exalted.
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This is a respite care admission, scheduled so we can upgrade their bathroom and bedroom. Make their home more liveable while dying. Their dates of death are not clearly visible to us over the horizon, certainly not etched in stone, but how distant can they be? Is this what people mean when they say live one day at a time? Mom can still laugh when we joke around, although each day a bit more of her releases into airy nothingness. Dad’s crash has been more sudden, broken neck, delirium, bedfast, but he still seems to add a few more good minutes to each ensuing day. All three of their children will be under the same roof today, now that’s red-letter. We’ll be helping them with lunch, sitting with Mom in the flower garden for a half hour, logrolling Dad in bed to rub ointment on his back. And while the two nap, we three will have a long conversation in another room about next week, and the weeks after.
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Yesterday afternoon my son called after he returned from a few hours visit with his grandparents. Josh took Granddaddy grits and collards and says he spent most of their visit eating. Yeah! Josh has been afraid to see the changes in the two up close and had put been putting this day off for months. I told him I know he still hurts from Jonathan, his best friend all through school, right after graduation the cancer. But then at the end of talking, Josh says to me, “So how are you doing, Dad?”
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Don’t get that question a lot and even less often do I say anything more than, “Fine.” I hear the sincerity when Josh asks. All the drive down today and all the drive back what I’m really thinking about is how to continue the conversation. I’ll stop at his house before I get home to drop off a cooler he left at Granddaddy’s house. I’ll begin by taking him outside and telling him how much I appreciate what he said. I’ll ask how he’s doing. And then I’ll ask another – rehearsed in my head for days, weeks, months: “And how are you doing on your path to quit drinking?” Life can surely do its best to convince you it sucks. But I have a feeling the two of us standing in the driveway for a half hour talking is going to show life it doesn’t have to.
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Segue
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Now that you mention it: death,
the cherry outside the kitchen
in full bloom, the novel I left
open on my bed, the stitch in
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my side riding a rib, the small
hole at the center of my retina
where nothing registers at all,
the rip in the screen letting in a
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gnat adrift on the whiff of daphne
blooming along the broken driveway,
the sudden abandon of your laugh, me
forgetting what I was going to say,
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closing my eyes, holding my breath,
and now that you mention it, death.
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Mark Smith-Soto
from Daybreak, Unicorn Press, Greensboro, NC; © 2024
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The poet notices a little something, a little nothing, really: breakfast, a chess board, chalk dust; light across a woman’s profile, flowers that shouldn’t be there, a word that carries on its back two meanings. Common things, every day things. The poet notices and his smile as he points out what he has noticed is almost sly; the pointing is all about what he’s not quite saying. Then all at once you notice, too. And you smile.
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In Mark Smith-Soto’s world you might discover wonder in commonplace, joy in commonalities, mystery in what we share and have always shared without noticing that we do. You might join him in memories that make you cry, realizations that lift from within you a deep sigh, possibilities that sober you right down before they exalt you. In Mark’s ultimate collection, Daybreak, every single one of the 56 sonnets has touched me, gently but insistently, until I admit I’m relieved: I am / a human being. I’m pretty sure of that. [Biology Lesson]. After reading these poems, I begin to notice the flowers in the cracks of my walkway with new eyes; they implore me that death [is] a lifetime of hours away [Aria da Capo].
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During the years of this twenty-first century, my orbit and Mark’s intersected only a handful of times, for only a handful of hours. But what gravity and what luminosity! In life I knew Mark only a little; I am glad to know him much more in poetry.
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Mark Smith-Soto (1948-2023) was born in Washington, DC, and lived in Costa Rica until the age of 10, when his bilingual family returned to Washington, his father’s native city. Mark’s awards include a fellowship in creative writing from the National Endowment for the Arts and the NC Writers Network’s Persephone Competition for his chapbook Green Mango Collage, among many others. Daybreak is his seventh poetry collection and is available from Unicorn Press in Greensboro, NC.
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Thank you, Michael Gaspeny, for sending me Mark’s book as a gift. A treasure.
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There You Are
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I do feel somehow exiled here, outside
the frame – just what is it about a woman
at an open window, seen from the side,
an opalescent half light on her hands
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holding the curtains apart, head tilted,
questioning? Maybe her gaze has stranded
on the naked lady half-hidden by the shed,
a blossom she knows she never planted,
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her wondering, These small, random gifts,
why do they touch one so? But of course,
I can’t begin to guess her mind, it’s
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me trespassing here, I should go before
she sees me, leave her to her thoughts –
“Oh, there you are, amor. Come look at this.”
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Mark Smith-Soto
from Daybreak, Unicorn Press, Greensboro, NC; © 2024
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