C ++++ THE EPIGRAMMATIST
Mankind perishes. The world goes dark.
He racks his brain for a tart remark.
Fred Chappell
. . . . . . .
Poets are a sober and studious lot. Profoundly introspective, respectably staid. Their rhymes are the quintessence of conservatism and decorum, their meter most martial. Their lines are ever crafted and solid as Cold War architecture, their images invariably illuminate and never titillate. Their thoughts are only a little lower than the angels’.
No poet and no poet’s poetry better represent these fundamental verities than Fred Chappell and Fred Chappell’s. For today’s APRIL FIRST missive we have selected the utmost in staid, respectable, and illuminating offerings from a book by Old Fred (as he has called himself) titled simply C (Roman numeral “100,” designating the exact number of poems in the book as well as Dr. Chappell’s initial, which this writer had not actually remarked upon for the first 29 years that he owned this book until today over lunch while he was reading aloud and his wife commented on the typeface, then pointed out the connection to the author’s last name). Illuminatio Lector.
. . . . . . .
V ++++ HOW TO DO IT
“Chappell – you who love to jest –
Hear the things that make life blest:
Family money not got by earning;
A fertile farm, a hearthfire burning;
No lawsuits and no formal dress;
A healthy body and a mind at peace;
Friends whom tactful frankness pleases;
Good meals without exotic sauces;
Sober nights that still spark life;
A faithful yet a sexy wife;
Sleep that makes the darkness brief;
Contentment with what you plainly need;
A death not longed for, but without dread.”
++++ ++++ ++++ ++++ – Martial
VI ++++ REJOINDER
Now let’s even up the score
And tell what things make life a bore:
Sappy girls who kiss and tell;
Televangelists’ threats of hell;
Whining chain saws, mating cats;
Republicans; and Democrats;
Expertly tearful on their knees,
Plushlined senators copping pleas,
Swearing by the Rock of Ages
That they did not molest their pages;
Insurance forms and tax reports;
Flabby jokes and lame retorts;
Do-gooders, jocks, and feminists;
Poems that are merely lists.
. . . . . . .
All of today’s poems, epigrams, epitaphs, enlightenment, and erudition are from C, by Fred Chappell, Louisiana State University Press, Baton Rouge & London, © 1993.
Fred Chappell is the author of more than thirty volumes of poetry and prose. He has received the Bollingen Prize, the T. S. Eliot Award, and the Thomas Wolfe Prize. His fiction has been translated into more than a dozen languages and received the Best Foreign Book Award from the Académie Française. He was the poet laureate of North Carolina from 1997 to 2002. [bio from LSU PRESS]
. . . . . . .
XV ++++ UPON A CONFESSIONAL POET
You’ve shown us all in stark undress
The sins you needed to confess.
If my peccadilloes were so small
I never would undress at all.
XXIII ++++ LITERARY CRITIC
Blandword died, and now his ghost
Drifts gray through lobby, office, hall.
Some mourn diminished presence; most
Can see no difference at all.
XXVI ++++ ANOTHER
Blossom’s footnotes never shirk
The task of touting his own work.
LIII ++++ EL PERFECTO
Senator No sets up as referee
Of everything we read and think and see.
His justification for such stiff decreeing
Is being born a perfect human being
Without a jot of blemish, taint, or flaw,
The Dixie embodiment of Moral Law,
Quite fit and eager to pursue the quarrel
With God Whose handiwork he finds immoral.
. . . . . . .
LXXIX ++++ UPON AN AMOROUS OLD COUPLE
This coltish April weather
Has caused them to aspire
to rub dry sticks together
In hopes that they’ll catch fire.
XLI ++++ RX
Dr. Rigsbee
Drank all my whiskey.
He said, when I objected, “Hell,
Fred, you’re paying me to make you well.”
++++ ++++ ++++ ++++ – Martial
LXVIII ++++ EPITAPH: PREVARICATION
A lonely sorrow
This monument tells:
Here lies one
Who did nothing else.
. . . . . . .
And the penultimate:
XCIX ++++ APOLOGY
If any line I’ve scribbled here
Has caused a politician shame
Or brought a quack a troubled night
Or given a critic a twinge of fear
Or made a poet’s fame appear
Transitory as candleflame,
Why then, I gladly sign my name:
Maybe I did something right.
. . . . . . .
And one last item, and about this there is no fooling:
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MARGARET AND JOSH!
LXII ++++ WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
Gale winds tore this tree
And drought and frost came near
To killing it. But see:
In its thirtieth year
It blooms like a candleflame,
And puts its youth to shame.
. . . . . . .
. . . . . . .
Ol’ Fred at his best. Love the phots of him with Shelby.
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I just can’t quit smiling when I see that shot. That was at Sam Ragan Poetry Festival at Weymouth in 2015. —B
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Great tribute to the indomitable Old Fred!
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It was hard to pick just a few favorites from Fred’s book C; everyone is classic. Start your day with a grin and a dope slap. —B
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Lovely! My favorite Fred Chappell book is “A Shadow All of Light” not poetry, but so much the voice of this beloved poet! It remains my favorite of Mr. Chappell’s writing…and Shelby, love you!
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Thanks for visiting today, Jenny — no foolin’! Yes, I love that novel by Fred. Are you familiar with his poem, Forever Mountain? It was one of his first I ever read and remains a continuous source of inspiration for my reading, writing, and embrace of creation. Here it is: https://griffinpoetry.com/2012/10/28/forever-mountain/
See you around —B
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Made my April Fool’s Day, Bill, smiling through. For what are poets if not fools? My heart soared to see the photos of long-time friends and Weymouth.
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Sweet, Debra, and my great pleasure to share these. What an honor to have known some of our NC Poetry Legends.
[Also I’m sure you’ve noticed at poetry readings you’re apt to get a lot more audience response from grin than grim.] —B
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What a lovely celebration of Ole Fred’s poetry, friendships and zest for life!!! Excellent delivery Bill G!!! Bill B
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Thanks, Friend. Some great memories, yes? —B
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From pre-1993 and the El Perfectos and Prevaricators are more Prevalent, Preposterous, and Pernicious than ever.
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So true. How many remember “Senator NO?” —B
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How I love seeing all these happy, smiling faces! Those photos of Fred and Shelby are pure poetry. This post will keep me smiling through the weekend.
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The shot of you in the camellias busts my gut. —B
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I look like a real April fool! : )
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You are Terpsichore, the muse of poetry and dance and unshackled joy. —B
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How I admire Fred Chappell. And his amazing witty wife Susan! Thanks for this! His range from erudite scholar to humorous wisecracking poet.
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When you read the serious and seriously erudite verse of Fred Chappell and then pick up his book C it just blows your mind. He does it all. —B
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Fabulous Fred, and fabulous you, Bill, for this April treat. I love what Debra said about us fools. May we keep fooling around as long as we can find pen paper & a computer to find all of you.
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Thanks for stopping by and being a part of the gathering, Diana. May we always endeavor to bring a smile to another. —B
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