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He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

Remember Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Imp of the Perverse?”  In each of us exists the ingrained capacity to self destruct.  When you stand at the precipice looking down, the imp urges you to take one step closer to the edge.  You know you’re driving, but you think you’ll have that one last drink.  You’ve typed it and you just know you shouldn’t hit SEND, but you do.  The rational mind recoils, but the id whispers, “Why not?”

When you’ve heard the verse I quote above, isn’t your first response usually something like, “Oh, those bad, bad hypocrites.”  Last week I read an editorial in the Wall Street Journal by James Taranto about Anthony Weiner (who is apparently possessed by the largest and most perverse imp in the Western Hemisphere).  Weiner’s fellow Democrats have denounced his transgressions, but somewhere soto voce you know folks are saying, “At least he’s not a hypocrite. . . . Especially one of those family-values conservative hypocrites.”  Does that mean Liberals have no moral values to transgress in the first place?  Weiner, in his public life, was an adamant feminist and would most vehemently denounce anything that degraded or subjugated women.  And so, about those tweets and photos . . . ?

But Jesus’ challenge to the Pharisees isn’t about hypocrisy.  It’s purpose isn’t to condemn.  After the self-righteous slink away, doesn’t Jesus look up and say, “Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?” She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, “Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.”

Rather than hypocrisy, I say this story is about humility.  And I define humility as mindfulness, specifically being mindful that we share common desires, weaknesses, and failings with every other human creature.  My sister Mary Ellen, as a psychologist, uses mindfulness techniques to treat a number of emotional and psychophysiologic distresses. It can’t be an easy process.  At least to me, it doesn’t seem to come naturally.  How effortless is it for me to tool down the highway recounting to myself all the bad qualities of someone who’s done me wrong, enumerating all the reasons I’m justified in despising them until I enter some anti-Zen state of sour despairing mind-crud.  Practicing humility and compassion by comparison seem like work.  Mary Ellen, help!

Does any of this provide context for the poem I’m featuring today?  Perhaps just this: that every fault I see in people and in the society around me, every screwed up priority, every exploitation, every just plain meanness, I see in myself as well.  Here, today, I’m dropping my stone.

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little mouse
(garbage)

What we throw away:
shall I make a list?
The brown spot and the whole
apple around it;
the purple spot

and the addict’s arm
and the whole man.  Mostly
what’s hard to look at or easy
to look past.  An empty wallet full
of bus rides home; the child

crying in the detergent aisle;
a dark man who laughs
in another language.  Thinking
we can have what we’ve killed
to keep.  And my soul, too,

is small and gray
as all the rest.  Yesterday
I nibbled crumbs and was happy
until someone told me
they were crumbs.

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[from little mouse,© Bill Griffin, Main Street Rag Publishing, 2011; first appeared in Iodine Vol 10 Nr. 1, Spring/Summer 2009]

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Magnificat anima mea Dominum.
Et exsultavit spiritus meus in Deo salutari meo.

You’ve seen signs like the one I’m talking about.  Hand-printed, fervent, a little threatening – probably intentionally so.  You might expect to encounter one only on the winding back lanes a healthy stretch removed from “civilization,” but no, keep your eyes open.  The one I’m thinking of is right on 21 between Roaring Gap and State Road, the heavily traveled route we all take to the Parkway.  Black on white, just a little crude:  “Prepare to Meet Thy God.”

Well, now that’s just silly.  Meet God here?  Not likely, unless He or She knows how to text.  OK, that’s a pretty lame joke.  If God shows up we won’t expect the great I AM to be wearing a robe and speaking Aramaic; if God wants to text me, God certainly will.  No, it’s not technology that’s the barrier, it’s that I am just way too busy to greet God right now.  Aren’t we all?

I guess I thought I was, until I read Rebecca Baggett’s chapbook, God Puts on the Body of a Deer.  Many of the poems are contemplative: they invite me to retreat from the clamor and just ponder for a moment.  But many more plunk me down right in the middle of the incessant mindstream and preoccupation we call “life” and smack me with a sign that seems to say, “Prepare to Meet.”

Not unlike Mary in Annunciation, kneading the dough, hair in her eyes, back aching when . . . suddenly the angel appears, / wingtips quivering, / shimmering like a dragonfly / in the light from one window. // The angel names her, / his voice tender, merciless.  The paradox stops me in my tracks. Tender; merciless.  My God is a being of infinite love and mercy, but wait.  Maybe faith is not a get out of jail free card.  Maybe there’s a reciprocal expectation.  Should I be taking a little more time to listen?  Should I be preparing?

Should I be reading Rebecca’s book more often?

My soul doth magnify the Lord.
And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.

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Annunciation

The girl’s sleeves are rolled
to her elbows, her hands sticky
with dough.  She pushes wisps
of hair from her eyes
with her forearm, yawns,
eases her aching back,
and suddenly the angel appears,
wingtips quivering,
shimmering like a dragonfly
in the light from the one window.

The angel names her,
his voice tender, merciless.
Mary gasps aloud, fingers brushing frantically
at constellations of flour
scattered across her skirt.

There must be some mistake,
she wants to protest, flinching
from the messenger’s luminous face,
his fervent, adoring eyes.
You want some other girl.
Finer.  Kinder to her mother.
Someone stronger, strong enough
to bear . . .

But already she has consented, altered,
speared in a shaft of light,
her breath surging in her ears
while something unearthly
stirs inside her.  Already
the swept dirt floor, the rough-
hewn table, the clay pitcher,
beaded with water-drops,
the new-shaped loaves, still bearing
her hand’s imprint,
have receded,
distinct and distant
as if she had traveled as far
from home as Egypt.  As far as that.

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[from God Puts on the Body of a Deer, Rebecca Baggett, Winner of the 2010 Main Street Rag Chapbook Contest]

More poems by Rebecca Baggett

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Linda’s sister Jodi is a National Park Service ranger in the New River Gorge.  In addition to some of her jobs like cultural and historical interpretation, wildflower walks, and storytelling, she’s also a graduate of the National Outdoor Leadership School: she teaches people visiting the backcountry to Leave No Trace.

Is it really possible to leave no trace of your passing?  Whether it’s an afternoon in the Greensboro Arboretum or ten days on the AT, can you really return from a place with no evidence you were ever there?  In years past the NPS and other outdoor organizations had less ambitious slogans:  Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires; Give a Hoot, Don’t Pollute; Take Only Pictures, Leave Only Footprints; Pack It In, Pack It Out.  But no trace at all?!  Even if all six billion of us recycled, composted, and travelled everywhere we went via shank’s mare, just the act of breathing in and out sends billows of carbon dioxide like a blanket into the atmosphere.  Leave No Trace — are you kidding me?

I wrote this poem, little mouse (trace), with my son and daughter in mind.  At different times one or the other of them has taken extended wilderness treks with me, and we’ve struggled to practice the best stewardship over wild places that we can.  (Margaret’s famous quotation upon reaching a road crossing with a refuse bin and over a pound of garbage in her pack:  “Trash cans rock my world!”)  But the world I want to leave them is not one with a few nice paths through the woods free of candy wrappers.  It’s not just the expectation that a few hikers will know how to erase the marks of their stay when they break camp.  It’s more like some crazy hope that all of us, every one, will retain an acute awareness of our traces right in the very places where we live.  That we’ll regret the unavoidable scars we leave on the earth.  That we’ll celebrate together when we can heal one.

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little mouse
(trace)

I want to leave the earth and climb
the snowbank cumulus, kick
my boots into the billow, lean
against my sassafras stick and rise.
Rain licks the slickrock clean

of my prints, greenbriar weaves
wild drapery up the wall, hickory sprouts
through the sidewalk.  I want to leave
no trace of my passing, no more trail
than the cursive of a slender tail

in dew.  Morning sun drinks that cup
and learns a word I never spoke,
someone’s new word for love.  I
want to be no more I but we – creature
loam bud feather; let roots translate

the phosphorus of my dust to fruit.
If you look for me a wren calls.
If you listen the poplar turns to honey
in the sky.  Drink deep this cup.  I want
to leave the earth to you.

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[from little mouse, Main Street Rag Publishing, 2011]

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